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August 24, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Apple is recalling a batch of iPhone 6 Plus smartphones that are taking blurry photos. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, they look fine to me,” said Billy Joel. 2. Kentucky’s Republican Party...

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September 18, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Matt Damon has apologized after sparking an uproar in the season premiere of HBO’s “Project Greenlight,” which he produces with Ben Affleck, by explaining diversity in film to a black woman...

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October 23, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Mustard prices have jumped this fall to their highest level in seven years. Which means some of Chris Christie’s shirts are now worth a fortune. 2. According to a new poll, Dr. Ben Carson has pulled...

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November 9, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump hosted “Saturday Night Live” over the weekend. Which seemed like an odd choice since Rand Paul is actually living in a van down by the river. 2. Donald...

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November 12, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson said, if given the opportunity, he would not travel back in time and abort baby Hitler because he does not believe in abortion. “So many mixed...

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December 17, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. On Tuesday, Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani teenager who won the Nobel Peace Prize, condemned presidential candidate Donald Trump’s controversial plan to ban Muslims from entering America. Leaving...

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January 6, 2016 – Monologue Jokes

1. In New York, a gang of strippers is being charged with drugging male clients and robbing them of hundreds of thousands of dollars. “You got it all wrong, you’re supposed to give them money...

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January 13, 2016 – Monologue Jokes

1. On Monday night, the Alabama Crimson Tide won its fourth college football championship in the past seven years. Said Alabama fans, “Who won the other five years?” 2. In an interview yesterday,...

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January 22, 2016 – Monologue Jokes

1. The number of tourists visiting New York City rose to a record high in 2015, with nearly 60 million people making the trip. To give you an idea of how many people that is, if those 60 million...

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January 28, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. In a new interview, Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders said he generally believes in God. “I used to” said no-longer-front-runner Hillary Clinton. 2. Singer Jennifer Lopez accidentally...

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